Jazzing it up in corona times

Raaja Bhasin

Yes, this is yet another corona story. Only it plans to be a post-corona story. This is of a world when the sun shines gently through a smartphone screen and it is safe to drink virtual water from virtual taps. A time when true love can be found by gazing into limpid eyes through a ‘smart’ screen.

As we have learnt in the past few months, fashion now consists of the pyjama, track top, ragged tee-shirt and the unshaven countenance. Most women open their wardrobes just to remind themselves of what they once wore. To test that the skill has not been lost, they may wrap up a sari or two, and re-iron the party-wali salwar-kameez.

With just about everything dependent on a screen, smart or otherwise, there is a fortune to be made in virtual perfumes and colognes. You won’t even have to buy them. A label will appear on the screen, one click and the world will know whether it is Dior or Drakkar that you have on. The same will go for jewellery — after all, if you have to drip diamonds for the virtual world, all it needs is a cut and paste between the Kohinoor and the Culinan.

But the true fashion accessory of the future is the mask. Before all this happened, we wore masks of another sort. We masked our feelings and we masked the truth. Artistes wore kathakali masks to help enhance a facial nuance. All that shall be a thing of the past. Those masks have been burnt, buried and the appropriate rituals performed. Models that sashayed in fine fabric, will now don the mask and this is what shall make or break a career in haute couture. The ramp, the catwalk, shall henceforth be known as the ‘mask-walk’. Students shall be admitted into the mask-crawl, and those that excel shall move on to the mask-sprint.

Let’s take a look at some possibilities of various kinds of masks:

Mask that matches: Ideally, this shall match the dress of the woman. For gentlemen, again ideally, this shall match the tie, the pocket square or socks. In reality, this shall match the track pants, the shorts and the flip-flops.

Loaf of masks: Available from wholesalers, this shall be like a stack and sold the way a box of handkerchief is.

Mask that is unimaginative: This is what is dangling from every other shop front these days — as this is the only item of sale for many. It mostly comes in baby-blue. The one named the ‘N95’, so far, is the hero of masks.

Mask that unmasks: This is the hurriedly remembered ‘oh, I must have a covering mask’. The dupatta, the pulled-up shirt collar and the hanky have been known to be used.

Magic mask: This is invisible, like the emperor's new clothes. You supposedly wear it, but actually, you don't. And, before you can wave a wand and cry ‘gilly-gilly’, the wearer disappears.