Home versus hostel

Sanjay Arora

Q.My son is studying in one of the best schools in Chandigarh and has scored more than 95% in half yearly examination in Class X. He is asking me to explore the possibility of doing his Class XI from a boarding school in Gurgaon or Hyderabad rather than continuing here as a day-scholar. I am confused. Please help.— S Ghuman

A.The decision to send a child to a boarding school or a local one tends to be a stressful one with no real grounds for evaluation of decisions. Choice is usually made according to personal preferences instead of any logical and rational reasoning. Many times, parents don’t know the tradeoffs between day-scholar and boarders, and who gains, and how. The tradeoff is explained here in detail:

Academic performance: One of the most obvious criteria for choosing between day-scholar or boarder tends to be how who performs generally in exams etc. The simple answer is that day-scholars perform better. Since they stay in their own homes, their parents can keep sustainable pressure on them to study, and help is more readily available for them in case they need special classes. On the other hand, boarders living among other students tend to be more relaxed on the front of studies, and tend to study less consistentl. They also suffer for if they need special classes, they either have to rely on their friends or the school providing some form of special classes. So, if academic performance is the main criteria, then day-scholars is a significantly better option.

Social adjustment: Academic performance is not the be all and end all of school. It also is a place where students develop social skills, and how to grow as a person. Starting with a day-scholar, their growth is limited by how often they can go out of the comfortable environment of home, and meet people. Even if they can meet new people everyday, they’ll end up spending limited time with these people, which doesn’t really help them to develop their social skills.

On the other hand, boarders end up developing these skills rather well. Not only meeting, but literally living among new people tends to make them better in terms of social skills. So, if you want to improve your child as a better person, boarding is a better option.

Skill development: This is quite unique, for this allows boarders to truly show the advantage they have over day-scholars. Day-scholars living in a protected environment may not face the harsh realities of life. This will make them more dependent. Plus, the protected environment makes them think more with their emotion and less with logic. They might also lack decision-making skills, self-independence, and the feeling of responsibility for their actions. While these traits don’t affect the child in the stage of school, when they go to college and go to live their own life it can come back and haunt them.

Since boarders live away from their parents, they aren't so dependent on them for everything, and learn responsibility for their actions and how they conduct themselves. So, if you want to develop a child with the capabilities to stand up for themselves, be responsible as a teenager/child, and prepare them to be the best possible humans they can be for life, then boarding is a good choice.

While this all wraps up the three main criteria that are there, the final choice can come down to smaller details, which lie in personal preference. Ranging from food provided in hostel, to fees charged by the school including the boarding fees, to the kind of people in the schools boarding, and just general comfort of the boarding dorms, these all vary from person to person and can't be called a proper criterion. While the three above won’t be enough to give you the right answer to change your child’s school, it does give you a direction as to where he should go.

— The expert is a Panchkula-based employability expert and Chief Mentor, Maven Career Coaching