Remembering a friend of 30 mins

Col DS Cheema (Retd)

WHILE surfing news channels, I learnt that Dr Pritam Lakhani had been shot in his clinic in Karachi. I looked for more details, but in vain. The news took me back to July 2015 when I was in Switzerland with my wife, and had met the doctor, his pretty wife and two sons for about half an hour.

On a bright sunny day, we arrived at Mount Titlis. They were among the crowd of enthusiastic tourists. We mistook them for a European family because of the fair colour of their skin.  After visiting the sites on the itinerary, it was time to go down to the base, for which we had been instructed to sit in the ‘Rotair’ in such a manner that all six seats, three on either side, were occupied. We were in no hurry and waited for some time and when most of the crowd had dispersed, we took our seats. It already had four occupants — a well-dressed handsome gentleman, a lady and two young boys in the age group of 10-12 years. The gentleman smiled and moved with his wife, leaving two seats for us. As is my habit, I greeted the couple with a good morning, which they responded with warmth and smile. He asked us about our country, giving me the opportunity to ask him about theirs. He said he was a paediatrician and was practicing in Karachi. His wife smiled and greeted us with Sat Sri Akal. The doctor was amused at our reaction and told us that his name was Dr Pritam Lakhani, they were Sindhis and often went to a gurdwara in Karachi.  He informed us that his brother too was a doctor, practicing in the US. When I asked him why he had not considered moving there, he replied that he was happy with his practice and had decided to stay put in Karachi. We exchanged notes about our respective professions and families. He had visited our Kashmir many times and said it was more beautiful than theirs (PoK). By now we had reached the destination and wanting to spend some more time together, we moved to a nearby place for coffee. We said goodbye to each other and parted with positive feelings. 

Empathy is a complex human emotion because what drives human behaviour has daunted scientists and other wise men for centuries. Why do we empathise with a particular person or group? What are the forces that motivate our behaviour? Proximity or closeness to the victim(s) is considered the most important factor; feeling of kinship — you are close to your relatives, social group and the people with whom you share similarities. Physical proximity is another factor; when tragedy is far away, one tends to get less affected by it. Something untoward happening in close vicinity attracts more empathy from people who have never even met, than something happening, say, in another country. 

I feel as if I have lost a friend, though he was killed in Karachi and I had met him only briefly.