Reading the signs of a body

Abha Chaudhary

Body language is a language without spoken words. It is called non-verbal communication. We use it all the time in our social life and business life so it is all about gestures, movements and expressions made by people to deliver a specific message to other people. 

The awareness of the correct postures, gesticulation and eye gaze behaviour is crucial to one’s charismatic presence. We influence people through the confidence we communicate through our body language. I agree – I had read enough and heard enough. However, I did not totally believe it. But strangely the subject always fascinated me. As an NLP practitioner, I learnt how important it is to calibrate the nuances of micro expressions. And now one fact I am very certain of is that the skill of reading body language has certainly helped me to become an empathetic listener. As an image consultant it is important for me to listen in a way that makes my clients comfortable enough to tell me more about themselves. And while my client talks to me, I sit facing her observing the micro expressions on her face, her hand gestures and movements. This helps me read between lines. I often think I have actively listened to the client, but later realise that I am unable to recollect or remember accurately what the client had mentioned during the interaction. 

Typically, when someone is speaking, our mind is racing ahead thinking of the wisdom and solutions to be given; hence we are not actually engaged in 100 per cent listening. Active listening would help in paraphrasing and confirming the real facts from the other and guide them gently back to finding a practical solution to the issue.

Hear me out

Active listening is a core competency which must be developed by all to become truly successful. Mindfulness – the act of being fully present in each moment, without judgement – is also a skill everyone needs to acquire and practice to improve the quality of interactions; with friends, team mates and loved ones. It is not easy to master, but can be developed over a period of time, by regularly practising mindfulness exercises. Some of the benefits of mindfulness include – being more connected with one’s self and others, increased clarity in thoughts, better emotional balance, developing more compassion and acceptance and improvement in the quality of relationships. This, in turn, would bring you rewards in personal life and professional practice. Being an amazing listener is not just about what you hear, it’s how you respond to what you hear. In every conversation, we want to give people a reason to remember us. We remember people who make us feel good. 

Be interested 

Listen with intent. Be the centre of every interaction by giving people a reason to remember you. As humans, we are desperate to be heard. The best conversations are not about what you say, they are about what you hear. As much as we hate to admit it, we love to talk about ourselves. Dale Carnegie has correctly said ‘To be interesting, be interested’.

(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image and style consultant)