Shriek!

Aradhika Sharma
Monica had brought her famous Sindhi kadhi. After we helped ourselves generously to her food and offered our own, we settled down to the conversation of the day.
Shobha: Here’s what I want to ask everyone: After you get married, should you try and look pretty and behave demurely or should you try to scare people to death?
Me: The answer to that is obvious so I’m guessing that either the question is purely rhetorical or you’re trying to make a point.
Monica: So who is ‘not’ looking pretty and trying to scare people after tying the knot?
Shobha: Anushka Sharma!
Monica: Why, I thought she looked gorgeous at her wedding. Oh! I get it! Are you talking about the Pari trailers?
Me:  I saw those too. Incidentally, Anushka is calling them ‘screamers’. They are quite scary, hai na?
Shobha: They’re awful, if you ask me.
Monica: But Shobha, I thought you loved horror movies!
Me: Yes, you’re the only person I know who watches Evil Dead for light entertainment.
Monica: And you get terribly excited when there’s a new sequel to Paranormal Activity!
Me: Basically, you love ghosts, ghouls and zombies and you pay good money to be scared out of your wits! I can’t believe that you found this ‘screamer’ too terrifying!
Shobha: Yaar… don’t insult me!  Of course I didn’t find the trailer frightening. And I don’t deny that horror is my favourite genre, but Anushka has just got married!

We chewed on the food and Shobha’s statements for a bit.
Monica: Actually, I don’t think I quite get what your issue is.
Shobha: Bhai, Anushka Sharma is scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Newly married girls should look appealing. What will her husband and in-laws say?
Me: Well, Virat seems to like it!
Monica: BTW, why must she look pretty?  Her role demands scary. Who’s going to get scared of a pretty ghost?
Me: Yes, remember Phillauri? What a disaster that was!
Shobha (patiently): See, it’s a universal rule that newly married girls are supposed to be beautiful and sweet. They can’t go around looking ugly and scary.
Me: Shobha, I really can’t believe your mataji attitude! Anushka is a professional actor and producer.
Monica: Seriously yaar… girls today aren’t the sweet, simple bahus of the olden times who are confined to home and hearth. They’re modern working women free to make their choices and there shouldn’t be any stigma attached to that.
Me: Yup, they are powerful and strong women living life on their own terms. And if they want to look bloodthirsty, well, fine!
Monica: In fact, I wish more women would choose to look bloodthirsty to scare the living daylights out of stalkers, abusers and rapists!
Me: What a fine idea! Incidentally, any idea if Pari merchandise is for sale? I’m interested in buying the chain!
Monica: And I’ll buy the nail cutter!
Shobha: And I’ll buy Rajat Kapur’s whip…. to thrash you both with!
Monica and me (laughing): Oh! Okay, mataji!
Shobha: Shut up!