Return their names, dignity

Sumedha Sharma in Mewat

Theirs are screaming stories of beast in man, of a system that buys anything, sells anything — and of crying hoarse for a name of their own. Scores of them — mothers, sisters, wives — hate being called the Paros of Mewat. Some days back, they decided enough was enough: They came together with the District Legal Service Authority (DLSA) tying up with an NGO to say a simple fact, boldly: we are humans. 

“You can’t call them victims of ‘bride trafficking’ because these women are not wives. There is no marriage ceremony in most cases. They are treated as commodities sourced from poor homes in the North-East or Andhra Pradesh or Orissa. They have no rights or a status of wife and are sold multiple times. We came across their real life stories while collaborating with an NGO,” says Narender Singh, CJM Mewat and secretary, DLSA.

“There are at least 20 paros in each village in the region. Most of them live in pathetic conditions. They are sold and resold like animals, but it is not called crime as they are ‘married’. They have no social economic or even political rights. They are used for sexual gratification, bear children and as farm labourers. A veritable bride bazar is held in villages bordering Rajasthan and UP where there are agents who not only get girls as young as 13 but even organize bride hunting tours for men,” says Sahfiq R Khan of Empower India, the NGO that organized a conclave to let these women know their legal rights. 

“These girls mostly come from non-Hindi speaking areas, so they cannot seek any help. Their physical and mental torture is compounded by the fact that there are no police complaints as touts operate openly. The government needs to act decisively,” says Sahfiq. There are several instances of brutality and inhuman treatment to these women. Subina is one such case. The NGO says she was sold to a man in Godhula of Punhana and had four children. A victim of domestic violence, she was thrashed so brutally in 2014 that she had to be admitted in a local government hospital. A doctor informed the police and persuaded her to speak up. The police ‘counseled’ her and sent her to her husband/buyer. The next year the NGO could not locate her but found that the man had got himself a new girl.

Some of these women have been ‘sold’ more than five times and thus continue to lose their names, identity, lives, and even sanity. This kind of trafficking does not come under the usual list of crimes, but is accepted as a ‘social custom’ in Mewat and parts of Rajsthan and Uttar Pradesh.

“I came here in 2012 when I was just 15. All I wanted was marry a Bollywood-like Hero,” says Mukhlisa. “My maternal uncle in Mumbai sent me with a man saying I was to get married to a handsome and rich Muslim. My groom turned out to be a 60-year-old man who limped and wanted me to bear him a son. I felt numb when he walked in my room and felt the same till my daughter was born,” says Mukhlisa. Sold for Rs 22,000 to Rehmat Khan of Punhana, she had much more to endure.

“My first husband or buyer died in December last year and within a week I was sent to my next buyer. I refused, but was told that he had already paid a price. He kept me for six months and then kicked me out, saying the physical pleasure he got was not worth Rs 26,000 that he had paid. I had no option but to go back to my first husband’s home where his elder brother ‘kept’ me. I was pregnant when the NGO people came there and things took a turn,” she says. 

Mukhlisa, after her rescue, went ahead with abortion as the court observed that she was unfit mentally and physically to support a child.

“You can rehabilitate teenage girls but what about women sold many times with many children or those too scared to leave their ‘buyers’. They cannot be taken from here or put anywhere. We are trying to get administration to provide them employment and make them aware of their legal rights. For a start we are telling them to insist on being called by their names and go to the police anytime for any help. This will ensure that they don’t face the fate of Mariyam who has vanished,” says Sahfiq R Khan of Empower India.

Mariyam was abducted from Assam in 1995 when she was of 12. She came to Mewat and as a Paro and was sold 10 times; her last buyer being a 68-year-old man with eight children. After a local panchayat took up her case with the NGO, she was found in a critical condition. She had lost her voice. Just when she was to be taken to the police early this year, she vanished.

Majiran was a little lucky. “I came here from Assam when I was thirteen along with another girl in 1993 to get a job. I was sold to a family that used me for some months and then got me married off to a truck driver. He was an adopted child and nobody wanted to marry him so he ‘bought’ me. I was not allowed to say anything in the family, and was given leftover food and was barred from possessing money. My husband would at times take pity and give me one or two rupees. I was lucky that my husband never sold me again. He died and after decades I was called by my name Majiran. Today I am a paralegal volunteer with DLSA,” says Majiran while addressing others.

As Majiran narrates her tale, Abida (60) gets up and says: “I have come here to know if I would get a grave when I die. Right now, we don’t even have a right to proper burial. Nothing can change my life after these many years but I want to have a grave inscribed with my name, and not a paro,” says Abida, her eyes moist.