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Striving towards happiness is our ultimate goal.

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Renee Singh

Striving towards happiness is our ultimate goal. Yet, we are bombarded with unhappy issues all the time. They come in different packages like anger, sadness, envy, guilt and zillions of other emotions. There seems to be only one underlying cause — a master mechanism that generates physical and mental tension.

Misery is protection

Some people like to believe that if they are too happy or relaxed it could result in problems. There is of course no way of eliminating psychological pain but we can definitely minimize the useless torment we inflict upon ourselves.

Self pity syndrome

We as humans love to play the martyr. One part of a person loves to play the ‘poor me’ whereas the other part sits in audience to watch. It is an immense level of satisfaction one gets from going through this whole drama.

Self critical dispenser

We develop a thought pattern called negative tapes. Some negative thoughts keep playing in our minds over and over again. Once the pattern has been identified by us we can rectify it.

Tune in to tension

Stress is the major cause of unhappiness. Unhappiness generally leads to an aching tightness in our muscles due to stress. We need to understand our stress and then turn our attention inwards towards it.

Self questioning

Many times you feel that you are exaggerating the significance of a problem. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Is it such a big deal?

2. Is anything important at risk?

3. Is this worse than anything I handled before?

4. Will it seem important a few weeks from now?

5. Is it worth fretting over?

Angry relaxation

For many people the ache of tense muscles is unhappiness. They keep their muscles constantly and in a chronic state of contraction.

Ten point tension release plan

Here I am giving you ten simple points as exercises. If you are doing this you will naturally reach a state of relaxation:

1. Roll your eyes in a circular motion once from left to right and the once in the opposite direction.

2. Look at something from a distance and then immediately focus on something nearby.

3. Frown and tense the eye muscles and then release.

4. Yawn a few times consciously as an action.

5. Loosen your neck and turn it from side to side.

6. Bring your shoulders up to your ears and then down.

7. Free up wrists and then roll your hands in circles.

8. Make your hands into fists and then clench and unclasp.

9. Take three deep breaths; put your hands on your waist. Gently arch your body backwards and forwards and from side to side.

10. Sit on a chair, put your legs forward, roll feet in circles to loosen the ankles, curl your feet and arch them thrice.

Doing these exercises will dissolve 50 per cent of the tightness in your muscles, and relax you both physically and mentally. Dancing, exercising of any kind of brief activity will energise you and alter your mood.

(Singh is a

Chandigarh-based psychotherapist)

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