Light-weight resolution

Aradhika  Sharma

Dear Diary Didi!
Do you know what I’m wearing right now? Hubby’s shirt. Not because I’m feeling very lovey-dovey towards him or I want to spend my life disguised as a man. It’s simply because nothing else fits me. Pehle toh I thought I’d bloated because of water retention. So, I boiled lots of dhania in water and drank it. It’s supposed to be a natural diuretic, na. But not even a gram of weight came off.

I didn’t bother as I was busy attending the X-Mas and New Year parties and the weddings, sangeets and bhogs. I also hosted several soirees and wowed many in Chandigarh with my gravies, sauces, marinated meats and rum balls.

Anyway, for New Year’s Eve, I thought I’d buy myself a new pair of trousers. So, I hopped across to my favourite store and picked four of them in my usual size —10. Blithely, I stepped into them only to find that they wouldn’t go past my thighs. “Ai Hai! Are these people trying to save on cloth?” 

I struggled out of them and told the salesgirl to bring me the same trousers in size 12. These went up all the way, but when I tried to close the button, it popped off. Bad stitching as well as small sizes. Infuriating! Finally, I fitted nicely into a size 14. 

I laid out my clothes on the bed and went to the washroom. When I came out, I saw my hubby was wearing the new pants! “Nice of you to buy me trousers,” he said. “Though they’re a bit loose around the hips.” 

Omigosh! The imported cheeses, cookies, plum cakes and crackers I’d indulged into had insidiously wormed their way into my flesh. Some drastic steps needed to be taken. But what? Yes! I’d make a resolution.

“I resolve to lose weight in 2019.” I dramatically announced, hoping that hubby would say that I was quite perfect as I was. Instead, he responded: “Great. High time.”

(What? Was I supposed to kiss this man at midnight!)

Diary Didi, I’ve started to plan my weight-loss programme with all earnestness. Now, you must agree that January is the worst time to give up food and drink; it’s freezing and gloomy, and we need to line our bodies with healthy fats. Plus, this is the only season that we can have sarson ka saag with butter floating on it like a glorious shining island on the sea and the ghee-shakkar rotis, right? So, I’ll start dieting in March. But wait. I’m going to Singapore in March for Bholi Bhabhi’s daughter’s marriage. Chalo, for now, I’ll cut down on calories by replacing beer with white wine. Baaki, July mein dekhenge.

Maybe I can consider exercising options:

1. Jogging at 5 am (Nah. Too early and too cold. I’ll fall sick.)

2. Post dinner walk (Nope, that’s my Netflix time.)

3. Gym, yoga, or swimming? (Boring.) But, listen Didi, resolution toh kar li na —  that’s the biggest step.What’s the hurry, now? I have the whole year ahead for self-improvement, nahin?