Containing love!

Aradhika  Sharma

Here is kickstarting a column where women discuss world events, trends, celebrity gossip, philosophy and gender — topics that range from the ridiculous to the sublime

We got an email from Sabrina saying that the ‘girls at the table’ had to ‘dress for the occasion’ on February 14. Everyone was dressed in the usual pinks and reds for Valentine’s Day with abundant hearts and roses motifs in jewellery and clothes. We’d ordered lunch to mark the day and after the “Happy Valentine’s Day” greetings and “Oh! You look so cute!” compliments, we immersed ourselves in the Chinese food. After sating the edge of our hunger, the conversation started:

Monica: Bhai, this time it was a bit confusing when you said ‘dress for the occasion’.

Sabrina: Why? What’s confusing about dressing for V- Day? We do it every year!

Monica: I mean I was a bit divided between deciding to dress for Mahashivratri or Valentine’s Day.

Me: You should have worn a pink saree with tons of jewellery. That way you would have been dressed for Shivratri and the pink could have marked V-Day!

Mandy: Arre! Don’t let the Karni Sena hear that now. Otherwise, they’ll say that ‘western culture’ is trying to hijack Hindu culture or something!

Shobha: Well, in that case, what do you think they’ll say if they knew that it was also International Condom Day?

There was a combined chorus of:  ‘Really?’, ‘I didn’t know there was any such day’ and ‘you’re kidding aren’t you?’

Sabrina (laughing): And how exactly were you planning to dress to celebrate International Condom Day? 

Shobha: Well, apparently they’re having parades and celebrations all over the world, doing just that! Dressing up as condoms to drive the message home I mean.

Me: I suppose the meaning is that people should treat condoms as an essential wardrobe item. 

Sabrina: So, then you were thinking of a latex dress? 

Shobha: Ha! Can I even stuff myself into a latex dress? I have plenty of my own rubber growing on me! See my tyres?

Mandy: Shobha, must you always talk of weight when we’re tucking into Chinese food?

Sabrina: Yes, with brownies to follow…

Mandy: Hope you remembered to order the ice cream!

Monica (thoughtfully): Vaise, coming to think of it, it’s pretty appropriate to celebrate the International Condom Day on V-Day!

Me: Me: Yes, caution on the day of romance!

Monica: Oh! Are we playing slogans? Well, here is mine:  No condom, 

no entry!

Sabrina: Condom on, worry gone!

Me: Me: Firewall yourself! 

Shobha: Jiyo befikar ho kar!

Mandy: Tell the dummy, you don’t wanna be a mummy! 

We’re really good yaar… we should be copywriters. 

We cheered for ourselves.

Mandy: Anyway, one thing is for sure,  condoms should always be in fashion!

Shobha: Amen to that! Girls, let’s heat the brownies a bit.

Mandy: And where’s the ice cream?