#Gym junkie

Mandy arrived staggering under the weight of her tiffin bag that day and proceeded to unpack it. Container after container made appearance.

Me: That’s a lot of food Mandy. Did you have a party last night?

Mandy laughed and said she hadn’t thrown a party, but we were welcome to share the food. 

Sabrina: What do you have here? Uncooked paneer, chick pea salad, boiled eggs, broccoli? Haven’t you brought any proper food, Mandy?

Mandy If ‘proper food’ means unnecessary carbs, overcooked vegetables and curries saturated with oil and calories, then I haven’t brought any. Humph!

We looked guiltily at our food, inspecting it for ruinous unhealthiness and the dreaded C words (carbs and calories)

Shobha: Excusez-moi! On Friday, if I remember correctly, you’d brought aloo, puri and halwa. Didn’t look as if you were minding your C&C then! 

Mandy winced at the memory of the Friday excesses and said she realised how cavalier she had been towards fitness. However, Twitter had opened her eyes to a lifestyle that would lead to a fitter body and mind and, in the bargain, even make the nation healthier. “Desh ke aage kuch nahin!” she declared, piously.

Me: What are you yammering about, girl? Is this another one of your fads?

Sabrina: I believe she’s talking about the #HumFitTohIndiaFit campaignstarted by sports minister Raghavendra Singh Rathore!

Mandy: Correct. My kitty group has challenged me and I must post a video of me working out by Saturday. Incidentally, I need a hatke workout so that everyone shares my video. The usual yoga, gym, cycling and weights won’t do. So, any ideas, girls? Remember, I should look like a lean, mean, fighting machine.

Me: The Mermaid workout is the latest. It’s a fitness fad inspired by the movements of the mermaid. The workout integrates body rolls into your swimming routine to help push you forward. You even get to wear a mermaid’s tail!

Mandy: Brilliant idea, except I can’t swim.

Shobha: Cycle gymnastics then?

Mandy: Too sweaty!

Sabrina: How about aerial yoga? Involves doing asanas while suspended with ropes above the ground.

Mandy: No way! I’m terrified of heights. 

Me: OK! There’s a new workout called the Kangoo. Apparently, it is a high-intensity dance class that involves wearing specially-designed shoes and bouncing like a kangaroo! You might look a bit silly doing it though.

Mandy: Yaar, I want to look cool and calm while working out, not like a Jumping Jack!

Me: You don’t want to sweat and yet work out with a hatke routine. Tall order, girl!

Shobha: Wait! Got it! Why don’t you do scalp exercises? Great for healthy hair and you won’t have to jump or sweat or try aerial calisthenics, but simply sit and smile at the camera.

Mandy: Perfect Shobha! Tell me how.

Shobha: Here goes: Sit. Raise your eyebrows as high up as they will go. Lower your eyebrows (furrow) as far as they will go. Done!

Sabrina: No sweat, no fuss, and so hatke! Let’s all practice. 1… 2… 3…. eyebrows up.

Shobha: Anyone filming?