What my lady-love expects of me

Rajesh Krishan

Traditionally, Karva Chauth is a ritual that is meant to be observed strictly by married women as it’s based on the story of a woman, Veervati, who keeps the fast to get her husband’s life back from Yama, the Hindu god of death.

Based on that legend, married women observe ‘nirjala’ fast on Karva Chauth, praying for the well-being and long life of their husbands and ending the fast by looking first at the moon through a sieve and then at the faces of their spouses.

These days, an increasing number of men, especially those from urban communities, also observe this ritual with fervour.

The case in point is my recently married brother-in-law, who is all gung-ho about his first ever Karva Chauth fast and has even bought a new dress for this. When I asked him about his motivation, he attributed it to his all-time favourite 1995 romantic film – Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, aka DDLJ.

More than two decades later, that trend seems to have only accelerated with many men choosing to return the favour and taking the fast as a way to express their love, respect and caring towards their partner, which, if you ask me, is an adorable and sweet gesture, though given that it requires one to abstain from food or water from sunrise to moonrise, it’s not necessarily an easy task to carry out.

I remember when I told my better half a few years ago that I’ll give company to her on Karva Chauth. She and my mom just didn’t believe me and had a good laugh together. Part of the reason for such a reaction was that they both knew well that I have this habit of eating every two hours. Some of my cousins and friends found it odd as well; a few even called it a “show off”, but as they say, love conquers all. I still remember the smile that never left my better half’s face when I eventually succeeded in fasting the entire day with her, and in doing so, inspired others to follow my example. One of my friends, who has been married for over a decade, will observe his maiden fast this year on October 17. There are, of course, many more, including male Bollywood celebrities and politicians, who religiously observe their Karva Chauth fast with their partners every year.

This rising tribe of Karva Chauth lovers is a clear indication that today, we’ve come a long way from the time when Karva Chauth used to be a special day just for married women. Today, the ritual goes way beyond what it used to be. It’s about sharing each other’s roles, standing side-by-side, supporting each other equally and forging a kind of relationship where tradition and modernity co-exist in perfect harmony.

rajeshkrishan77@gmail.com