Daddy, you’re gone, but still around

Priya S Tandon

June 17, Father’s Day, coincides with my father’s third death anniversary. As the world celebrates, for me, it marks the day when I moved on from ‘I love my father’ to ‘I miss my father’.

As part of his daily prayer, Daddy would say, “Tum daata dukh bhanjana, meri karo sambhaal… jo main poot kapoot hoon, tohe pita ko laal (Dear Lord, you are the destroyer of sorrows, please take care of me. I am grateful that regardless of me being a good son or a bad son, you always love me because I am your beloved child.)

I firmly believe the Lord looks after us and loves us unconditionally. And He created fathers to replicate His own image.

As I sit staring at the picture of my father — former Chief Justice of India MM Punchhi — a thought crosses my mind. When Daddy was sworn in as the CJI, his only surviving teacher, 90-year-old Sister Declan, attended the oath ceremony at Rashtrapati Bhavan. He held her hand and introduced her to the President, saying, “This hand taught me to write!”

About my father, I can say proudly: “His hand taught me to write!” 

In a beautiful way, our grandparents and parents live on through us. When they say “The king is dead, long live the king”, it is a declaration of the death of the king, as well as the proclamation of the coronation of a new king. This symbolises the continuity of everything. Somewhere, I feel my father is no more, but he is alive through us, his children. Thinking of him makes me happy as well as sad.

Happy, because he lived and worked like a true karma-yogi, and sad because there was so much more he wanted to do. But God had other plans for him. As William Shakespeare said, “He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again.”

For those of you whose parents are still alive, do learn to value them, and value the life lessons they impart, for never can we equal them in experience and wisdom. For all that our parents did for us, the least we can do is to show gratitude; if not for anything else, at least for giving us the gift of life. I heard an angry youngster tell his parents, “So what if you gave birth to me? I am just an accidental product of your pleasure.” My heart wept.

Here is something my father once wrote. 

“Do not plan for God,

God has plans for you.

Life is an opportunity, avail it/Leave it to Him to unfold your future.

You came to this world at His command,

You will vacate it at His behest.

Enjoy the rhythm of pain and pleasure set by Him,

Let Him regulate it.

You go on fighting the battle of life.”

Praying for my father’s soul suddenly made me realise that all his life, an infinitesimal portion of the Lord was merged in my father as the soul. And after he passed on, my father merged into the Lord.

Suddenly, everything in the jigsaw puzzle fell into place. It is all about whether God is in you, or you are in God! He is all in all, He is everyone’s Father! And He will never pass on! I feel comforted.

Happy Father’s Day!