Lessons for teachers & parents

Simmi Waraich

As parents and caregivers, we want the best for our wards and with more focus on kids in nuclear families, we tend to bend backwards over to smoothen their path, be it in school or at home. However, parents forget that they are the first teachers and role models for children and their behaviour and attitudes are reflected in the kids’ response pattern. What parents can do is to examine how they respond to stressful situations and use these to teach their wards coping skills. Most important, they must not transmit anxiety to the kids. Teachers can leverage their influence over children to turn classroom lectures into life-changing lessons by equipping them with skills to deal with a crisis. Here’s how: 

Teachers, be a friend, philosopher & guide 

• Discuss anxiety about exams Ask pupils to write their fears associated with exams. Teachers can discuss alternatives and ask them to write down alternative helpful thoughts. 
• Do simple relaxation exercises Engage the students, be it in deep breathing or a Visualisation exercise. 
• Put a plan in place Ask students to draw a flower and write a ‘Coping-with-anxiety plan’. In the petals, such thoughts can be written: I can take three deep breaths, I can count 10-1, I can have a drink of water and I can tell myself that I can do it.
• Affirmations help Students can be asked to say out loud: “No matter what, I am okay and my self worth does not depend on marks.”

Relaxation exercises

Abdominal breathing: Place a hand on your stomach, take a deep breath and notice your stomach expanding as air fills in it. While breathing out, feel the air slowly go out and the stomach go in. As you breathe in, count in your mind slowly (1,2,3,4,5) and as you breathe out, exhale from your mouth and  count slowly again.

Visualisation: Lie in a comfortable place. Take four to five deep breaths in and out. As you breathe out slowly say in your mind — Relax. Feel your body relaxing as you breathe out. Think about a calm quiet place. Visualise the green fields and trees and visualise yourself walking there. Feel the soft breeze on your face and the rustling of the leaves on the trees. Hear the sound of water close by as it flows in a stream. Continue to breathe in slowly, regularly. Imagine the sun shining on you and relaxing you as it enters your body and enters each muscle fibre and each cell. Feel its light and energy relax you. Imagine that its your safe place and you can come here whenever you wish. Visualise yourself now going for your exam and feeling relaxed as you do so.

Parents’ role & strategy 

• Identify anxiety-evoking situations Start this at an early age and note how the child deals with these. Teach them to take three deep belly (abdominal) breaths by doing so yourself. 
• Create and maintain a routine at home This will assist the child to have regular study hours. Ensure a fixed bedtime, time for outdoor activities and a definite schedule for activities such as watching TV and hobbies. 
• Stay calm yourself if the child is anxious Point out the positives in situations that you face so that children also learn to see that even a bad situation can be dealt with. For example, “It is unfortunate that I lost the money accidentally but it’s okay. I’ll be more careful about leaving things around in the future.” Or, “My boss was very harsh with me today. But never mind, anyone can make a mistake and there will always be a next time.” This will, by example, be a learning experience for children. 
• Set a schedule Limit phone/Internet/TV time. 
• Take out time for exercise This may be a game of badminton or running around the park or football with your child. Exercise helps relax the mind. 
• Be a role model At times, if you find yourself getting anxious or angry, sit down and say out loud to yourself: “Relax, take it easy” and count to 10  and say, “There, I feel better”. We can teach children appropriate behaviour by demonstrating that behaviour ourselves. (Concluded)