Assert without offending

Poonamjot Kaur Sidhu

Perspective towards the position of a boss or a superior has evolved dramatically over time. Roles as well as responsibilities have been redefined, nevertheless one base aspect remains static — getting the work done. The mere notion behind the creation of a hierarchy is that the job in hand has to be completed and goals are to be achieved. Hence although the up-to-the-minute school of thought advocates a diminished power distance and open doors; certain level of assertiveness is necessary for timely completion of the task and while dealing with difficult associates. 

But there lies a very thin line between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertiveness means openly stating your point in a conversational tone while still staying empathetic and open to discussion whereas being aggressive is a state of clear defiance to any other individuals perceptions or thoughts. Various practices that can verbalise assertiveness without offending your colleague are:

Communicate expectations 

Clearly and firmly communicate expectations and boundaries so your subordinates know what is expected from them and what is not. It is advisable to express them rather than leaving them to an implied state. While doing so try and rationalise both the expectations and boundaries as if an individual understand the reason behind them, they are bound to be adherent towards it. 

Be precise

While addressing your subordinates speak to the point and be precise. Do not dwell upon the past too much as it may dilute the concentration in regard to the current situation. Reminding people consistently of their past mistakes is not a productive manner to get things done on the contrary it may offend them.

Establish accountability

It is also imperative to hold people accountable even in stances you don't want to. It creates a sense of responsibility amongst employees. They understand that they will be asked questioned for their actions and held responsible.  

Criticise wisely

Choose wisely when to criticise and when to praise. Inconsiderate use of either will attenuate their significance and effect. Also keep in consideration that praise is more effective when done publically and criticism more productive when done in private. 

Don’t burn bridges

Keep a channel open for your subordinates to state their perceptions. A two way communication is a valued asset which imbibes satisfaction in subordinates pertaining to the fact that they are being heard and brings in fresh perspective for the superior. 

In a nutshell Speak, Listen, request, question, observe, motivate and lead with consideration and only the intended message goes across; chances of misconceptions are attenuated.

Be respectfulBe respectful

Be respectful and do not overstep social boundaries while dealing with your subordinates. This is more imperative while giving feedback or attempting an intervention. Use your non verbal cues well as they are prominent indicators which distinguish assertiveness from aggression. Keep a even tone of voice, hold a relaxed body posture and maintain a respectable distance while communicating 

your thoughts.

Be respectful and do not overstep social boundaries while dealing with your subordinates. This is more imperative while giving feedback or attempting an intervention. Use your non verbal cues well as they are prominent indicators which distinguish assertiveness from aggression. Keep a even tone of voice, hold a relaxed body posture and maintain a respectable distance while communicating your thoughts.

Practice what you preach

On all occasions practice what you preach be it a deadline or your punctuality to report at office. If you expect a certain behavior and wish to diminish divergence; it becomes a necessity to walk the talk.