Any problem? No problem at all

Brig Sandeep Thapare

During my service period, what impressed me the most was the ability of a Sikh soldier to get any job done, either by hook or crook. The old saying, “Possible we do in a jiffy, impossible takes a little longer” holds true for my regiment. “Ho jauga, saab” (will be done, sir) is the most common response to any task. 

It was the early 1990s and we were at Kota, Rajasthan. Summers were unbearably hot, made just a little better by uninterrupted power supply (the state generated surplus electricity). Amid this, our formation was conducting the Command Environment Week. The event was going on well till the Army Commander decided to visit for a day. Hectic preparations commenced and our battalion unfortunately got the worst responsibility — making arrangements for stay. The Army Commander was to be lodged in an MES Inspection Bungalow (IB). Everything was tidied up and the Commander visited the IB for a final look, a day earlier. It was perfect till he visited the bathroom where while washing hands he observed that the tap water was hot. “Can we do something about this”, he enquired. The CO nodded towards me, and said, “Fix it.” This was easier said than done as the water storage tank was on the top of the building under direct sunlight. I was furiously thinking how to address it till my JCO asked, “Saab, any problem.” I told him the situation. He thought for a moment and said, “Ho jauga, saab.”

 The Army Commander’s visit went off without any hitch. “How did you manage room temperature in the tap water in this heat?” my CO asked me after the visit. He had a hearty laugh when I narrated that how we managed it. The JCO had deployed two NCOs on the top of the building next to the tank, with a temperature-measuring instrument, a scoop and a slab of ice conveniently broken into 1-kg pieces. After every hour, water would be scooped out of the tank, temperature be measured and an appropriate amount of ice be dropped into the tank…till the next round. 

From Kota, we moved to Dera Baba Nanak. In the first visit of the Brigade Commander, there was embarrassment. At the officers’ mess, the Commander asked for beer from a “black bottle”. As per him, beer in plain glass bottles lost all taste which was only retained if the bottle was coloured. To our horror, we realised there were no coloured beer bottles at the mess. “I’ll have a nimbu pani instead,” the Commander said. It was considered as an insult to the regiment. The CO was furious and gave the Mess Secretary a glare. After the commander left, the CO told me, “This shouldn't happen again. Ensure adequate beer is always available.”

A mad exercise started thereafter — the hunt for coloured beer bottles. Stocks were checked, indents sent to CSD depots, sister battalions approached. But somehow none was available and my parties returned empty handed. As I was wondering what to do next, my mess havildar told me, “Relax saab, ho jauga.” “How,” I enquired.

In the next visit, the commander again asked for beer. Promptly, chilled beer in a black bottle, duly wrapped in white damask napkin, was served. “This is bliss, chilled beer on a hot afternoon,” the Commander remarked. The CO, too, appeared pleased as punch. Delayed lunch followed a long beer-drinking session, in which beer did not fall short. “Good show,” the CO gave me a thumbs-up at the end. The second-in-command (2 IC) had a quizzical look after the CO left. He said, “How did you manage? You told me none were available?” 

“Sir, no black bottles were available, so we fished out some old empty black bottles from the store, washed them thoroughly and stored them on ice. On the party day, beer was slowly transferred from a plain glass beer bottle into these pre-cooled black bottles and served.” 

I am withholding the names of the commanders because the first one went on to become the Chief and the second became an Army Commander.