Lance Naik’s quirky tales of ‘wisdom’

Brig Sandeep Thapar

It was 1987 and Operation Brasstacks was launched by the Army. Our battalion, part of a formation in Western UP, moved to Jammu & Kashmir. As part of a deception plan which I did not understand then, my unit was detached from our formation and sent to the Line of Control (LoC) at Bhimber Gali, Rajouri. As a young Captain, it was my first posting at the LoC.

I was commanding a platoon post (30-odd personnel), which also had a 10-men detachment (under Lt PK) deployed ahead at a location called Outcrop.

Lance Naik Gurmit Singh was a 6-foot NCO with a rotund figure and voracious appetite. Had he not been extremely fit despite his weight, he may have been reduced to a category (Army parlance for unfit). As luck would have it, Lance Naik Gurmit was placed at my post as MMG det in-charge that entitled him to a separate bunker (the MMG emplacement). He was, thus, the only one apart from me who was entitled to such luxury. 

Who took the flag away?

One day, the battalion Subedar Major (SM) visited the post. I told Gurmit to brief the SM on his MMG tasks. Confident, Gurmit took the SM to his bunker. Taking permission to commence briefing, Gurmit told the SM, “Saamne dekho, 400 gaj, hara jhanda, general line of direction” (look ahead, 400 yards, green flag — method of target indication in the Army). The SM looked through the loop hole, but couldn’t see any green flag. So, he asked Gurmit where was the flag? Gurmit looked through the loop hole and cursing them in Punjabi said, “****** utaar ke lae gaye” (The rascals have taken it away). Apparently, the flag being indicated was in a Pakistani territory and someone had removed it in the morning and, surprisingly, an alert Gurmit wasn’t aware of it! 

‘Baba must be sleeping’

Our troops follow traditions. One such tradition along the western borders is that Thursday is Peer Baba’s Day — no non-veg food is consumed that day. So, one morning, a sepoy found Gurmit wolfing down last night’s leftover mutton with pooris. He questioned Gurmit that it was Baba’s day and why was he having mutton. “Shut up, ajhe Baba vee sutta hona (the Baba must be sleeping now!),” replied Gurmit. Fortunately, Gurmit’s misdemeanour did not have any bad effect.

No, retain him there!

Defying the Simla Agreement, the Pakistanis were doing some construction near the LoC. We targeted the activity and the LoC got activated. The enemy fired at the Outcrop post that had 4-5 stone bunkers on the lower ground. The troops braved it well for 2-3 days. Taking permission of the CO, I decided to send 10 boys with the some days’ ration (called relief) before first light to replace the men who would return to the post for a day (to get refreshed). “How was it,” I asked Lt PK after the first relief. “Great sir, but don’t send Gurmit down the next time.” “Why?” “Sir, you sent one bucket full of rotis and Gurmit ate half of them, leaving others hungry! He is better retained there with you!”

‘Captain to blame for’

In those days, the LoC firing would remain localised between two adjoining posts, though it could increase incrementally from any side. If one side tried to dominate from another post, the other side would open up from another location. Our company near the LoC (called BT) was under heavy fire. I got a call from the CO: “Open fire with your MMG on the post next to BT to force the enemy to stop firing on BT.” Excited, I ordered Gurmit to lay the MMG on the enemy post. We waited till last light. Gurmit laid the MMG and aimed it (I let him do this as he was MMG course qualified in Infantry School, which I had not —  a fact he never let me forget). I, however, insisted on firing the MMG. Gurmit checked and rechecked the aim and gave me a thumbs-up. I cross-checked — have you factored in the beaten zone (the dispersion effect of bullets fired from an automatic weapon, at the target end). “Aaho saab ji,” answered Gurmit. By now it was getting dark and with great trepidation, I opened up with a few short bursts. Thirty seconds later, the BT company commander was on line. “Stop the fire, you idiot — you are firing on our post!”

The tale became the talk of the unit. I came to know much later that Gurmit surreptitiously passed the message around that the Captain sahib (meaning I) was to blame for the fiasco, having shifted the perfect lay set by Gurmit!