God: His and Hers

Jug Suraiya

God, sitting behind his CEO’s desk, in a corner office with a celestial view over the Heaven, is being briefed by His Human Affairs Adviser (HAA).

God: So what's going on Earth? What are those humans up to, or down to, now?  They always seem to be fighting with each other, so what are they fighting now?

HAA: Well, there’s something called Rafale that’s become the bone of contention.  They’re also up in arms over chowkidars and chors.  But I’m afraid the single biggest cause of dispute is You, as it has always been for all these thousands of years ever since humans invented religion.

God: Oh dear. What in particular about Me are they fighting over now?

HAA: There are several things in particular about You that they’re fighting about.  First, that Ayodhya business is still going on.

God: That old mosque-mandir hungama?  Are they still going on about it? Why don’t they just do the sensible thing and toss a coin to settle the matter, once and for all?

HAA: I’m afraid when it comes to anything to do with You, humans have a way of never being sensible. Ayodhya apart, there's also that Sabarimala row. 

God: Sabarimala?  Is that the one where women of a certain age aren't allowed to go in?

HAA: Indeed.  And even as that ruckus continues, another one is brewing about why women shouldn’t be barred from entering the mosques to offer prayers to You.  In fact, some women have taken the issue up with something humans call their Supreme Court.

God: Dash it all, how can a human Court, no matter how Supreme, be called upon to pass judgment on anything to do with Me, who is the Supremest Being not just of that parochial little place which calls itself Earth but of the entire infinite Cosmos?

HAA: Beats me.  But that's what’s happening.

God: But hang it all, why shouldn't women be allowed into all places of worship if they want to pray to Me?  After all, didn’t I create women the same way I created men, and all other living beings?  

HAA: That you did.  The problem is that after you created all living beings, including men and women, men in turn created You in their own image.

God: Men created Me in their own image? How did they do that?

HAA: Simple.  By making you into a Male God.  Look at any religion, You care to name and You'll find You're always a He, or a Him, never a She, or a Her.  It’s called patriarchy.  Which is a fancy way of saying that men have used Your name to justify their dominance over women in all spheres of life, including religion, ever since the dawn of civilisation, if one can give that name to any social system that is so patently gender-biased and always  has been since the beginning of time.  

God: How awful! Does that mean that, inadvertently, I become the original Male Chauvinist Pig?

HAA: Don’t worry.  A lot of women are getting together to correct the imbalance by creating their own religion of which You will be the First Woman.

God: Really?  How cool is that.  And what's this religion called?  

HAA: It’s called Shakti Power, though some call it feminism…