The joys of being an ‘Oldielocks’

Aradhika Sharma

“Mom don’t be such an Oldielocks,” my cousin Reema’s 22-year-old daughter said in amused exasperation when her mother expressed her desire to wear a pair of comfortable pumps rather than strappy sandals to a garden party. “Your age doesn’t give you the right to be frumpy. Ta now! Don’t drink too much, you two.” She breezed out amidst a whiff of perfume.

Reema and I looked at each other. “Well, bollocks to that. I certainly won’t wear those sadistic toe-pinching, heel-crushing shoes if I don’t want to. Cheers to being an Oldielocks!” she said and raised her glass of wine; I clinked it with mine.

While everyone above 40 appears to be a doddering old geriatric to those in their twenties, there are, in fact, certain signs that are dead giveaways that one has achieved the stage of, what our children irreverently brand, an Oldielocks. For example, a party invitation freaks us Oldielocks out. We’d rather hang out with our friend(s), watch salacious TV shows or play a board game and feast on matar pulao, curd and rasam than hit the town and spend money on drinks and food in noisy restaurants engulfed in loud music that makes it impossible to have a reasonable conversation.

We learn to find supreme satisfaction in the small, mundane things of life — for instance a good bowel movement. Wonderful feeling but won’t elaborate on that here.

Oldielocks don’t have to starve themselves to look perfect. No sweating in smelly, sweaty gyms, no eating gluten-free food or depriving oneself of desserts. Not that the digestion can take the stress of extra food, but we don’t have to suffer deprivation to achieve a perfect body. An occasional glass of beer, some cheese, chocolate, tadka of pure ghee in the dal and wheat rotis are not going to drown an Oldielocks in guilt. We can take pleasure in celebrating parts of ourselves that are still attractive instead of being hard on ourselves because every bit of our bodies isn’t beautiful.

Oldielocks can revel in the relief of her kids being adults (at last!). It’s refreshing to be driven around town by a young adult with whom we can actually converse and share a laugh and who understands our references. Having babies and bringing up kids was great, of course, but it is a relief that they’re all grown up and can (mostly) take decisions on their own and be judicious about what they share (or don’t share) with you. If an Oldielock’s kids turn out to be smart, funny, charming young adults, she’s sorted. 

Lastly, we Oldielocks appreciate our life and are usually thankful for friends and family. As a Colonel friend says, “If at the end of the day you can sit down with a glass of whiskey while watching your TV shows or reading a book, anticipating a hot dinner, without disease or pain, consider yourself blessed.”

Blessed are the Oldielocks who can appreciate such bliss!