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‘Joint’ account

My friend’s daughter, Sandy, and her friend, Catharine, are visiting India and, on their way back from Himachal, stopped by at my place.

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Aradhika Sharma

My friend’s daughter, Sandy, and her friend, Catharine, are visiting India and, on their way back from Himachal, stopped by at my place. Apparently, they’d gone to Manali-Kasol in quest of the famous ‘Malana Cream’ that grows in Parvati Valley. Turned out that Catharine is a weedologist (a weed connoisseur) and the purpose of this trip was to rate the best hashish and marijuana available in different cities in India. Batao!

“Goodness!” I exclaimed. “I hope you girls know that cannabis is illegal in this country.”

“Yes, although it’s hard to believe that cannabis is banned in India. There’s such prolificity and acceptance of it!” Catherine responded.

“You know, maasi, when we were in Varanasi, we came across a thandai shop, which sold green lassi. This famous Varanasi ki lassi turned out to be a delicious bhang-laced drink! No wonder it’s so popular,” laughed Sandy. “In fact, Varanasi has a number of government-approved shops that sell bhang.”

“The Mahakumbh of Prayagraj is literally teeming with thousands of sadhus who happily pose with their chillums, blowing out smoke in artistic ways.”

“Arre! Manali is buzzing with smokers and the bazaar is overflowing with shops peddling smoking paraphernalia,” Sandy added.

“Don’t forget Goa… and Kerala, Meghalaya, Manipur, Kashmir, Himachal Pradesh, Uttarakhand, Mysuru, even Bihar. Ganja is unlawful, yet its use is widespread.” 

“And maasi, can you imagine Holi without bhang?” (Hain! Are these girls brand ambassadors for cannabis?) I snorted disapprovingly: “When we were young, only hippies — those flower children types with long, greasy hair, who were to be avoided at all costs — used to smoke marijuana.” 

“Bhang has been around for a far longer than hippies,” grinned Sandra. “It has been used by Indians since 4th century BC. Your favourite, Lord Shiva, also loves it. He brought it all the way from the Himalayas for the mankind to enjoy.”

“Sweet of him, I must say!” added Catharine.

I was outraged at this flagrant attempt to give mythological weightage to the weed: “Lord Shiva is so powerful that he can drink the whole ocean of poison without getting harmed. Similarly, he can smoke marijuana without losing his stature of Vaishnava, understand?”

Catherine laughed: “Right! Incidentally, we’re headed to Kathmandu for Mahashivaratri. Thousands of Hindus from India and Nepal will gather near the Pashupatinath Temple, chanting the name of Lord Shiva and smoking marijuana. Want to join us?”

“Ab toh, they’re showing chillums in films too! ‘Normal’ people have lit up in The Blueberry Hunt, Shaitan, Go Goa Gone, Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana, Kapoor & Sons and almost all of Anurag Kashyap’s films.”

I was exasperated “All I know is that it’s illegal.”

“So was homosexuality, maasi! India loves to cling to draconian laws.”

Many countries, Canada included, have legalised cannabis, making billions in the process. They are innovating in the cannabis industry and acknowledging its medicinal benefits. They’ve become ganja-preneurs!” Catherine said.

“India should re-claim its native plant.”

“Legalise it, tax it and use the money to create awareness on its harmful effects instead of allowing it to be sold unregulated,” Catherine suggested.

 “Meanwhile, let’s smoke the peace pipe!”

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