B’day cele’bray’tion!

Aradhika  Sharma

“Your birthday party last evening was so much fun, Sabrina,” I said at the lunch table. “The food and drinks were delicious, and the cake was just beautiful!”

“Oh yes! It was a rollicking party. It was really nice to meet your cousins from Delhi too,” Shobha agreed.

“I’m so glad you girls had a good time,” Sabrina smiled. “Thanks for the gorgeous gifts. I loved everything you girls got me.”

“You’re welcome! Did you get any other interesting gifts?” asked Mandy.

“Umm, most of them were quite usual, you know. A couple of bottles of perfumes, a silk stole and some studio pottery. My cousin from Delhi gave me some interesting soap though.”

“Interesting soap? What do you mean? Must be some handmade soap made with exotic natural oils or charcoal or dead sea clay or something bizarre like that!” Mandy tried to guess.

“No, not exactly. Apparently, the soap contains donkey’s milk.”

We all gaped at her. 

“Gosh! I didn’t know donkeys gave milk,” Shobha finally said.

“Well, apparently they do. And it’s pretty exorbitant. It costs Rs 3,000 a litre!” Sabrina informed.

“That’s probably because the donkey keeps kicking whenever someone tries to milk it. Must be knocking the milker’s teeth out or smashing his shins and bones regularly,” I wisecracked.

“And the milk-seller must be including the cost of the dentures and plasters and minor surgeries in the price of the milk,” Mandy laughed.

“Oh, please.” Shobha wasn’t amused. “But seriously, Sabrina, will you use the soap?”

“Well… the thing is that I checked its price online and it’s nearly a thousand chips. So, I really don’t want to waste such expensive soap. But somehow, I can’t get myself to scrub my body with the milk of a donkey. It’s a bit too alien, you understand.”

“Hmm… well, look Sabrina, at the end of the day, it is just a milk product, right? And by the way, Cleopatra’s beauty secret was her donkey milk baths. Apparently 700 donkeys always travelled with her caravan to ensure fresh milk for baths. Seems that donkey milk erases wrinkles and provides natural anti-ageing skin care.”

“Yup. It says here that donkey milk was a common ingredient used by the Egyptians as a natural elixir of long life. It’s supposed to be full of healing, nutritional and rejuvenating properties for the skin. That’s cool, isn’t it?” Shobha said as she consulted Google, the guru of gyan.

“French fashionistas have discovered it too and are using it in skincare products.”

“Yaar, this mule milk is sounding totally kickass! If Cleo could wallow in ass milk, why can’t I?” demanded Mandy. “You know what Sabrina, I’ll do you a favour. I’ll let you donate the soap to me!”

“Give it to me! I could certainly do with an elixir of youth too,” I said. 

“Why don’t we share it three ways then?” Shobha asked. 

“Oh no! What’s good enough for Cleo is good enough for me! If you girls want donkey’s milk, go find your own donkey,” said Sabrina. 

Humph! Hee-haw to that!